New Day

Start stop restart motivate slump fall get up start again truth and lies. That's been the last year or so.

Summer of 2012 everything changed. Everything. Some of the change was fantastic. Some of it seemed horrible at the time. All of it was stressful. I took the self-destructive (not atypical for me) path to deal with it. I won't go into any particular detail but one. I knew something was physically wrong.

I felt listless. I was out of breath very quickly. Most days I didn't nwant to get out of bed.

Given the amount of crap that was going on around me I thought I might be depressed or having an emotional reaction to it all. My totals were suffering. I couldn't do any of the intensity  training without feeling sick.

So I blamed the workouts and pretty much stopped by November of 2012.  No will. At all. I started gaining weight. So I ate more. I could no longer fit into any of my pants.

During the last year I noticed my left foot swelling intermittently. I couldn't determine what triggered it. It added to the fear that something was really wrong.

Fast forward to late September of 2013. Pissing hurt. Well, easy to eliminate STI as the problem and with dread I went to the Doctor to get diagnosed with a UTI which was a relief. I'm a year from 50 and have family history of prostate cancer, so I was relieved. Antibiotics. Worked but still no energy. Foot still swelling.

Late October 2013 I wake up hurting in my back and feeling nauseated. Thirty minutes later I'm aware that I must have a kidney stone on my left side thanks to Google.  Thirty more minutes and I am over the toilet wretching my guts out - fo about an hour. Two weeks of this.

Finally I get enough and go to ER. Yep, kidney stone. 4mm. And one in the right kidney as well.